I’ve seen this a trillion times and I still love it.
I’ve seen this a trillion times and I still love it.
In this book, there lies a mystery.
I brought it with me to events for decor, an old brittle cover with an interesting smell, we’ve seen old books before. Of the acquired set, I brought “Hygiene,” “A History of England,” and “Psychology and Life (New Edition).”
This seemed a good spread for…
The main issue with all of this is really very simple.
1. ‘Ladyboy’ can be offensive towards trans* people.
2. It is extremely unlikely that Kim meant any offence.
She has different cultural experience to a lot of people in the UK, as gathered by what she has told us in her videos, so it is likely that she just had a playful slip of the tongue with a term that she did not realise is potentially offensive.
The fact that Hannah is defending it means a lot. It means that maybe Kim feels bad about what she said, but mostly it means that you should listen to Hannah because she knows Kim better than any of us on Tumblr possibly could.
It was a silly mistake, but it did not have any malicious intend behind it.
Maybe I’m talking bollocks, but I personally am gay, queer and transgender and I believe that forgiveness and education is far more important than shunning those who make mistakes.
I see your point and respect it entirely, especially the last paragraph.
My issue is that those offended trans* people need to educate the ignorant to what they would prefer instead of whatever incorrect noun is being used. Arguably the ignorant should educate themselves too - but they’re ignorant, so it might be down to you!
Also - and this is meant in the nicest way possible - try to not get offended by it. I get it’s difficult, because people are ignorant and stumble through the wrong nouns - probably repeatedly - but that person might not know better, or might be as awkward as you about discussing the right word to use, and just go for something that they think ‘works’.
I also get that ladyboys are so close to being a physical representation of the confusion between ‘crossdressing’ and ‘trans’, and I can see why it’s taken in some circles as an insult.
BUT…(and this is the important bit)
Ladyboys are loud and proud of who they are, and are a wonderful and welcoming community.
Their strength of character and conviction should be seen as something that anyone can aspire to, regardless of race, sexuality or gender.
Getting upset and shouting about it on the internet doesn’t do anything except pander to the attention whores and cause more hate between individuals. There are legit, healthy, dignified ways to protest this stuff, and it’s not by calling someone out on a random Tumblr which is designed just to prod at a group of people repeatedly, because the user has nothing better to do but spread negativity.
Finding yourself and finding your gender/sexual orientation/etc is supposed to be about personal growth and finding the real you. Getting overly hung up and reading into things too much just hinders that, and focusing on the problem continuously just makes you a bitter person instead of the loving person you should be.
Everything Hannah said. You should be the educator, the un-offended (at least outwardly), and understanding. Most people aren’t out to be purposefully disrespectful, especially people like Kim. I wasn’t offended because I knew it wasn’t meant offensively. Buck up people.
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
More people need to know this.This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.
pretty sure this is one of those things I’ll always reblog. Important info.
I need someone like this…